And I'm Supposed To Feel Sorry For You Because...?

Third In A Series: Victim 3

By Linda Keenan

The current economic crisis has many victims, and one of them is the wall next to my couch, where I literally fling the paper or magazine in disgust as I read yet another sad-sack story of average Americans who have finally figured out they can't afford that vast manse on the hill, the tricked-out home theater, the his-n-her Hummers. My poor, abused wall, that Money Magazine really lands with a bracing thud.

So this is my own occasional series that I call "And I'm Supposed To Feel Sorry For You Because....?" in which I pluck a tale out of the paper, and fricassee the latest "victim"* of the great American overspending horror show. If I sound like a lemon-sucking shrew, well, on this topic, I am.

Today's Victim: Don Doyle, come on down! Featured recently in the New York Times**.

Don Doyle, a computer engineer at Lockheed Martin {engineer, hmmm, rational, exacting, good with Excel, riiight? Wrong!} makes a six-figure income and had a stellar credit score in 2004, when he refinanced his home to take cash out to pay for his daughter's college tuition {OK, daughter, college, good Dad, sounds noble. So far, so good}.

Mr. Doyle, 52, is now worried that he will have to file for bankruptcy, because he cannot afford to make the higher variable payments on his mortgage, and he cannot sell his home for more than his $740,000 mortgage {Don, that's a whole lot of college you've borrowed. Did your daughter attend 3 times?}.

"The whole plan was to get out" before the rate reset. {Who'd a thunk rates could go higher? Don wouldn't remember the ‘70's. Oh wait. He's 52. I bet he remembers Saturday Night Fever...How about ... Stagflation?}

"Now I am caught. I can't sell my house. I'm having a hard time refinancing. I've avoided bankruptcy for months trying to pull this out of my savings."

In refinancing their home in 2004, Mr. Doyle and his wife were doing what millions of other homeowners did -- tapping into the rising value of their homes for home improvements, paying off credit card debt {taking on debt, to pay off other debt...ah the awesome, terrible beauty of financial innovation!}, college tuition and for other spending.

The Doyles took advantage of the housing boom by refinancing their home nearly every year since they bought it in 1995 for $275,000 {Didn't the 90's ROCK? OK, time for a recap. House cost 275K in ‘95. Don now owes nearly 800K. For college tuition? To quote noted philosopher Dr. Phil, get real, Don!}

Until their most recent loan they never had a problem making their payments. They invested much of the money in shares of companies that subsequently went bankrupt {D'oh! That little dot com bust thing-y wing-y happened in the 90's too. Major bummer.} But borrowers like Mr. Doyle say they are victims of their circumstances.

Still, Mr. Doyle does not regret refinancing in 2004 {or 1996, or 1997, or 1998, or, oh remember that one in 2000, hon? When we got the ATV?} "My goal was clear: I wanted to help my daughter go through college," Doyle said. "It wasn't like it was for us."

*Editor's Note: For Linda's pieces on Victim #1 and Victim #2, see: Victim 1 & Victim 2. Linda introduced this theme -- her frustration with certain people not taking personal responsibility for their financial problems -- here: Look In The Mirror!

**For clarity's sake, I've condensed these stories and quotes without the proper punctuation. Click here for the full story.

Linda Keenan is a contributing writer at Burbia. Linda worked 7 years as a head writer/senior producer for various programs on CNN. Before that she worked as a writer/producer for Bloomberg TV. She now writes satire, primarily about parenting culture, at Thoroughly Modern Mommy. ...read more rants

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